| *entertains self* Since I'm not feeling rather productive and am bored out of my mind-- I wanted to check livejournal, but nooo, the school computers have it blocked-- I FELT like posting. I suppose I could reply to that e-mail Kaz sent me, but considering how long it usually takes me to type a reply to him (since I try to formulate what I want to say in relatively easy-to-understand sentences), I'll do that later. But for now, I am going to boast to you how awesome I am, and you are going to sit back and read this.
Today I turned eighteen. Not ONLY am I eighteen, but it's the eighteenth, which means it's my golden birthday. MUAHH. I remember visualizing this time in my life as a never-approaching height of glorification in my life-- that's when I was, oh, twelve. I thought then, "life's gonna be better then. If anybody up there likes me, since it's so shitty now, they could at least reserve some time in my life I can look forward to." I find that strangely amusing, now, that I'm remembering this, and it's like nothing and everything has changed. I guess you could say I'm in the same rut. But I have gotten somewhere. (Sort of.)
Yeah, I am lazy, I procrastinate, forget all sorts of shit that I was so intent on following through with.. and I've been beating myself up about that a lot lately. Yeah, I had a shitty week.. had a bit of a breakdown, and realized that I feel more alone now than I have in a very, very long time. Which I knew, but I had been handing it pretty well, since I kinda-sorta-not-really had my best friend to fall back on. At least I had her, ya know? She's always there.. eventually, I mean. She's not exactly the best at being a steadfast friend, what with her inferiority complex and nasty habit of depending on men to fulfill her self worth (does it look like I have a penis?), but.. she's MY best friend. And since she's been pissed at me for most of this week-- I mean, God, yesterday she didn't even LOOK at me-- I was assuming (and trying not to hope and therefore jinxing myself) that she'd completely forget my birthday.
So I walk into Kelso's (awesome) class, and try not to look at her as I rush in about ten minutes late. Kelso greets me enthusiastically, which is surprising, considering I was late.. (my mother calling the office: "Hello, I'm calling my daughter in.. we were at a dentists.. appointment.. today is November 18th-- oh, yeah, she was sick this wednesday, I forgot-- and her date of birth.. uhh--"gives me an odd look "is November 18th, 1987...." Like they didn't figure that one out. Smoooth.)
And both Matt Louvie-louv(who sits next to me) AND Nikki (who sits in front of me) greet me with smiles. (I bet they had been talking about me before I came..) Nikki turns to me slightly, and says softly, "Happy Birthday." Totally floored me. Made my day, actually. I gave her a hug (or rather, draped myself over her) and started crying. Only a little bit, but it made me kinda squeaky. "I thought you were going to forget," I said, and she said, "Hell, no, it's your damn eighteenth, why the hell would I forget?!" or something like that, and Matt said, "it's your birthday? Happy birthday." He needed some loving too, so I hugged him, too, which I haven't done in a while, so it was nice.
And then I proceeded to talk her ear off for the next two periods, sans the time that we were watching the lifetime version of Tess of the D'Urbervilles. (That book makes me want to go lesbian, just for the sheer man-hating factor. Good thing SOMEONE gets shanked, and it wasn't Tess this time.)
I guess I'm feeling rather talkative today.. gushing, really. (Glad you noticed.) Anyways, I feel like browsing through gay fanfiction right now, but I may or may not do that (Gaia Towns isn't working) since I AM in the same room with Mr. V. ..You could see how that would get weird. Maybe I'll just re-read ass-man, 'cause that wasn't too raunchy with the man-lovin', and is funny as hell.
So, yeah, eighteen, get to buy porn, cigarettes, go to hooka bars and eighteen and up clubs.. and I can be legally tried as an adult. Cool thing is, if I go back to japan, I'm of age to drink! Yes!
Oh, and yes, I am still too lazy to get my license. What the hell kinda good does a license do anyways if you dont have a damn car??! |
